The 5 Best Self Help Books For the Experiences of Men

For whatever reason, there is a lot of stigma surrounding men showing any kind of vulnerability. Men who cry are sometimes called names, and given labels meant to insult them. The real truth is, we’re all human. We all need space to feel vulnerable and to work out our issues, and that’s part of the glory of self help books. 

PYM believes that everyone deserves peace of mind. To help, we’ve come up with a list of what we believe are the five best self help books geared toward men to help with anything they may be going through.

#1) Unfu*k Yourself By Gary John Bishop

Lots of self help books are pink and were designed to appeal to women. With Unfu*k Yourself, by Gary John Bishop, it’s obvious right from the start that this book approaches things a little bit differently. 

Although the title is in your face, the content inside isn’t. Bishop talks directly, not pulling any punches, but his goal is to help everyone to learn how to reframe how they think about things. 

For many of us, it's our perspective on everything we go through that holds us back. Letting yourself appreciate that things happen, both bad and good, and learning to stand up for the things that are important to you can really be life changing. 

When you can really take in the message of the book, your self worth will skyrocket, and so can your potential for true happiness.

#2) Make Your Bed By Admiral William H. McRaven

If you’re the type of man who likes masculine role models, Make Your Bed may be the right book for you. The author of this book isn’t just a writer, he is also a retired Navy Admiral. The book was the result of a commencement speech that he gave to the University of Texas graduating class of 2014. 

The focus of the book isn’t how you can be as motivated and structured as a Navy Admiral. Quite the opposite, actually. In Make Your Bed, McRaven talks about how simple changes start with the motivation to make your bed in the morning. It’s these small acts that really make a difference, and they add up to larger, deeper change. 

#3) Atomic Habits: An Easy And Proven Way To Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones By James Clear

Habits are hard for everyone, no matter who you are. Trying to create a new habit and failing to  follow through with it can lead to a lot of frustration and self judgement. However, making and sticking with habits is also incredibly important, especially if those habits are related to your health and well-being. 

In this game changing book, Clear talks about how the actual habits aren’t where the issues lie. The real problem is the way that most of us approach making those habits. 

Although this is a lighthearted book, the advice that it contains can really help you be more successful with making healthy lifestyle changes (or any other habits that you’re hoping to make). Aiming to just make a 1% improvement every day can lead to lifelong changes that you can stick with. 

When combined with other self improvement attempts, like using mood supplements to help support you during times of stress, you will wonder why you didn’t start sooner.

#4) The Mask of Masculinity By Lewis Howes

A lot of the issues that men have with seeking and accepting help is in the way that masculinity is viewed. This hypermasculine stereotype, and the set of requirements that comes with it in order to be seen as a “man,” is ultimately incredibly damaging. It can hold you back from really opening up, connecting, and enjoying your life without all of the social pressure.

Howes talks a lot in the book about how traditional masculinity really forces men to wear a mask. That mask can sometimes become so unconscious that people may not even be aware that they are wearing it. 

In fact, Howes believes that there are 9 different potential masks that men wear, like the Stoic mask, the Alpha mask, or the Joker mask. He also lays out ways that men can work to achieve a real sense of self-discovery, and learn more about who they are when that mask is finally taken off. 

When you can learn to be your authentic self, without feeling like you need to be someone else to be taken seriously. That’s part of why we believe this is one of the best self help books for men.

#5) #Chill By Bryan E. Robinson, Ph.D.

It’s fairly common for men to become workaholics, staying later and later at the office in order to get things down and feel like they’re being a good provider for their families. #Chill was designed to help with people who have a hard time shutting down their work brain and being able to engage with their families after a long day. 

The book approaches things with the purpose of teaching people how to develop and practice mindfulness. 

When you’re able to be more mindful, it becomes a lot easier to really live in the moment and find a healthy sense of balance between your work life and your personal life. Ultimately, all of us only have so much that we can give in a 24 hour period. Once that runs out, we’re a lot more likely to snap at the people around us or even retreat into our own, solitary space. 

Don’t keep giving all of your energy to your work and up leaving none for the people who really matter to you.

In Summary

PYM is for everyone, regardless of gender. Men do face a lot of unique hurdles to being able to seek help managing their emotions and learning to be vulnerable, and hopefully you have found a book or two on our list of the 5 best self help books for men to help encourage you to reach a little deeper and find the space you need to open up. In the end, vulnerability only helps you to find deeper, more real connections with the people that matter to you. Don’t let traditional views on masculinity hold you back any longer.

Sources:

The Importance of Creating Habits and Routine | PubMed 

Speaking of Psychology: How masculinity can hurt mental health | APA

Mindfulness Definition | What Is Mindfulness | Greater Good Magazine