Best Ways To Love Yourself
Let’s start out with the obvious. It’s really hard to truly love yourself. We are indoctrinated by pop culture and social media to think that we’re never quite enough, and that tends to really get into your head whether or not you intend it to. Learning to love yourself really is an act of radical kindness, and one of the best skills that you can learn in your entire life. PYM believes that everyone deserves the chance to love themselves for exactly who they are at any moment in time.
Think About Yourself Differently
What’s the last unkind thing you said to yourself? Was it about your weight? Your bank account? A goal you didn’t reach? Think about saying those things to the people that are closest to you. You wouldn’t dare, right?
We tend to be so much more meaningful to ourselves than we would ever be to anyone else. If you can work to adjust your self-talk, you may be surprised at how much easier it can be to learn to love yourself. Negative self-talk can really take a toll on your self-esteem, as well as making it much more difficult to really reach your goals. When you build yourself up instead of tearing yourself down, you’ll have more confidence to go for what you want. Loving yourself comes naturally.
If it helps, before you talk to yourself, think about speaking to the inner five-year-old that still lives inside of all of us. If you wouldn’t say it if she were standing in front of you, don’t say it to your adult self either.
Make Time For Self Care
Similarly, make sure that you are setting time aside for yourself to practice good self-care. This is especially true if you are the type of person who puts everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. Take a peek at your planner. Is it full of things that you agreed to do for other people with no time set aside for your own needs? That should tell you something.
It can be helpful to pencil yourself into your schedule just like you do everything else. This also helps to make sure that you have no excuses to not go through with it. Self-care doesn’t have to be big and elaborate, like an entire spa day. It can be an afternoon off, catching up on your favorite show, or just grabbing coffee by yourself. Ultimately, it just reminds you that you are just as important (if not more important) than everyone else in your life.
If you still struggle with it, try telling that person in your life who you know will hold you accountable. That way, when the day and time comes for your self-care, they will make sure that you stick to doing it.
Self-love comes with having the confidence to acknowledge your boundaries and then stick by them. On paper, that sounds a lot easier than it is in practice… but it can be done!
A good place to start is by making a list of all of the things that are really important to you, as well as things that really hurt your feelings when people do to you. This could be anything and should be approached without judgment. When you’re done, read over that list and validate it. If it’s important to you, it’s important.
The next step is being able to put them into practice. Unfortunately, much of the practice that we get with maintaining our boundaries comes when people step over them. Learn to explain your boundaries in a calm way, and accept apologies from those who may cross them (the first time). If people continue to not respect your boundaries, especially after you’ve talked to them about it, it may be time to let them go.
If you know you’re going to find yourself in a situation where people may cross your boundaries, like a family dinner with a family member who likes to push your buttons, prepare for it ahead of time by taking a PYM Mood Chew. They can help you with the natural stress of the situation, and help ease your mind enough to be able to feel more confident standing up for yourself.
Cut Yourself Some Slack
Do you expect perfection from yourself? Stop that!
The real truth is, no one is perfect. If they think they are, that’s a larger problem. Mistakes happen, we don’t always reach the goals that we’ve set for ourselves, and that’s ok. Instead of beating yourself up about it, take it as a learning experience. What can you do better the next time?
Perfectionism is a guarantee that you will never be as happy or satisfied with your life as you truly deserve to be. That’s not to say that you can’t look for ways to improve yourself, or to get better at the things that are important to you. When you do that with empathy and acceptance of who you are, what you’ve gone through, and how much you really have achieved, you’ll appreciate and love yourself just a little bit more.
Part of cutting yourself some slack also involves learning how to embrace your weaknesses. Just because something doesn’t come naturally to you or you struggle to get it done doesn’t mean it isn’t important or valid. Your weaknesses, just like your strengths, are part of what makes you you. You have to learn to love all of you, not just the “good” parts, for true self-acceptance.
Think of how many people in your life love and care about you. They can’t all be wrong! You are worthy of love and respect, especially the kind that you extend to yourself. PYM would love to help you find self-love and acceptance because, when you truly love yourself, the sky is the limit for what you can achieve. Don’t let the normal stress of life knock you off your path.