4 Things to Know About Worthiness

Do you feel like you’re worthy of all of the good things that come into your life? Or do you find yourself feeling like you’re not good enough or important enough for them? 

Improving your self worth can help you in all avenues of your life… personal, professional, and otherwise. 

PYM is here to help you better yourself, with four things that everyone needs to know about worthiness (and how to improve yours).

#1) Worthiness Comes From the Inside

Self esteem can at least partially come from outside sources, like people giving you compliments on your outfit or how hard you’ve been working. However, true self worth can only come from the inside. 

In fact, studies have shown that people who regularly base their own sense of worth on outside factors will likely pay an eventual physical and mental price. Those who are able to define themselves on how they feel about themselves are far more likely to have a healthy sense of self worth and not let what other people think affect them. 

That’s part of what makes self worth so much harder to come by than self esteem. It’s something that you can only do for yourself, and it takes work and time. Many people even choose to work through their issues with therapy, where they can also learn to identify anything that may be holding them back. Everyone has trauma, which can really impact you for the rest of your life if you don’t tackle it head on so that you can move forward. 

#2) The Four B’s

There are many schools of thought on how people can achieve a healthy sense of self worth, because the concept is so individual. One professor named Saul Levine M.D. came up with four factors that he believes plays into it, which he calls the Four B’s. 

The first B is for “being,” which is a state of inner peace and self-acceptance. This is when you feel like you are a real, valuable human being, flaws and all. To reach a state of being, it’s essential that you learn to forgive yourself and appreciate everything about who you are at any given moment.

The second B is for “belonging.” While self worth is not determined by others, fitting into at least one supportive community that honors and respects you can also help you develop more self worth. It also helps to prevent the feelings of anxiety that can come with loneliness, where you tend to overthink (if this happens, use PYM Mood Chews to help you move through it and recognize them as the temporary feelings that they are).

“Believing” is the ethical/spiritual component to self worth. This refers to any sort of core beliefs that guides you, and doesn’t have to just be religious in nature. Believing in something bigger than you reminds you that you’re part of a larger story, and sets your specific set of morals that guide how you behave.

And finally, “benevolence.” Doing good things for the sake of helping others can also build your own self worth. This is different from doing good things for attention or praise. When you operate with a sense of benevolence, it can also be contagious. You may even be able to help others identify their own worthiness.

#3) A Low Sense of Self Worth Can Be Damaging

Building self worth is important to help you learn to love yourself, but having a low sense of self worth can actually be detrimental to you. 

For one, self worth directly influences how you let other people treat you. When you love yourself and feel like you’re worthy of other people’s respect, you’re far more likely to be able to set healthy boundaries with people who don’t have your best interests at heart. If you don’t, you may attract people who don’t treat you well because you think you deserve it.

Those with low self worth are also more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol to help them quiet those feelings of never feeling good enough. This is often the result of not having the strength to say no when you’re under pressure, which can easily lead to substance abuse and addiction problems. 

#4) How To Identify Struggles With Self Worth

If you’re not quite sure where you stand, there are a few ways that people can identify if they may be struggling with their own feelings of worthiness. This isn’t a comprehensive list, only some of the more obvious hints that you should start working on it. 

• Feeling unworthy when good things happen
• Being particularly sensitive to criticism from others, and taking it personally
• Being self critical to a damaging extent
• Constantly being a people pleaser, especially if it happens at your own detriment
• Finding yourself in relationships where your partner treats you poorly (or even abusively)
• Neglecting your own needs to take care of everyone else
• A lack of motivation to better yourself and your situation
• Letting the way people feel about you impact how you feel about yourself 

If any of those sound familiar to you, take a close look at your life and how you really feel about yourself. It’s then, and only then, that you can work on improving it. Make sure to treat yourself kindly, because you are all you have. Learning to appreciate yourself, and stand up for yourself in situations that require it, is a major part of developing not only self worth but also self love, self acceptance, and self esteem.

In Summary

First of all, you are worthy, exactly how you are. Unfortunately, until you learn to believe that for yourself, you may continue to struggle with how you feel about yourself and how you allow other people to treat you. 

PYM believes in you, and we want to help you believe in yourself. Remember, it’s all about the journey and not the destination. Working on your self worth is what really matters, because it shows that you care about yourself enough to try. 

Sources:

What Makes a Worthy Person? 'The Four B's' | Psychology Today

Self-esteem based on external sources has mental health consequences | APA

(PDF) Self esteem: The costs and causes of low self worth | Research Gate