4 Steps to Help Resolve Inner Conflict
It’s a lot easier to get to the bottom of conflicts with the people around you than it is to look inward. How can you set healthy boundaries with the people in your life if you can’t even set them with yourself?
PYM has a few steps that you can take to help resolve your inner conflict and love yourself more than you previously thought possible.
What is Inner Conflict?
Essentially, inner conflict is the feeling of having two different opinions of the same situation. This can be something that pops up, like trying to decide whether to quit your job, or a long term situation like dealing with hurt from a previous relationship.
Regardless, the end result is the same… you feel powerless, confused, and worried that you’re going to make the wrong call.
Inner conflicts can be moral, conflicts of love (both romantic, friendly, or familial), existential, social, or image based. Each is valid and important in its own way, but they can all also be approached in the same way to help resolve them.
Step 1: Identify The Conflict
While this may sound obvious, a lot of people aren’t even sure where their inner conflict is actually coming from. You may just feel out of sorts, anxious, or down, without any obvious source.
You’ll want to set some time aside to be alone with your thoughts, so that you can focus on what’s going on without distraction. In some cases, you may need the help of a licensed therapist or even just a trusted friend to help you figure it out.
Be aware that digging up things can be triggered, especially if you’ve experienced trauma in your life. It’s important to be prepared for all of the feelings that come along with trying to resolve your inner conflict, so don’t attempt it if you’re in a bad place emotionally (at least without professional support).
Unfortunately, these inner conflicts won’t just go away on their own. It’ll take hard work, and plenty of self honesty, but you can get there if you’re determined.
Step 2: Be Mindful When Looking At Your Conflict
To really resolve inner conflict, you need to look at things from a well-rounded perspective. Just understanding one side of things doesn’t help you move forward, although that can often be the easier way of doing it.
Practicing mindfulness is really helpful in these situations, because it allows you to be able to look at things without having as much direct emotional engagement. It is also massively beneficial even when you’re not going through stress or trying to work through inner conflict, because it helps you gain a greater appreciation for the here and now, instead of losing yourself to the past or the future.
It’s also helpful to remind yourself to be gentle. While it may be confusing and difficult to both identify inner conflicts and find a way to resolve them, both sides of the conflict stem from you. There’s no external bad guy here, and no side of you that is “right” or “wrong.” Your feelings come from a valid place, and should be honored as a part of you, whether you’re comfortable with them or not.
If you need a little extra support working through those overwhelming, stressful feelings that can come with looking at things directly (especially if you’re not used to that), try PYM Mood Chews to give that inner mental fortitude a little extra backup. Our all natural chews are filled with adaptogens and amino acids that help manage feelings of stress and overwhelm.
Step 3: Consider How You’re Escalating The Conflict
Your self talk, whether positive or negative, has massive implications on how you deal with yourself and others. If you talk to yourself negatively, whether unconsciously or not, you’re more likely to also experience anxiety, depression, self doubt, and stress. Positive self talk, on the other hand, helps you build up your self esteem and self confidence.
If you’re not tuned into how you are talking to yourself, there are a variety of different resources, like this one from Winona State University, that can help you better identify it.
It’s also important to realize that resolving inner conflict isn’t immediate. If you expect to identify what’s bothering you and then jump immediately into fixing it and moving on, you’re likely going to be frustrated and disappointed. You’re worth the time and energy that you’ll need to put into yourself, and the end result is more than worth it, too.
Step 4: Don’t Be Afraid To Put Your Solution Into Action
With enough work and time, a solution will likely appear for whatever your inner conflict may be. That also means that there is more hard work to come.
No matter how comfortable you are with what it takes to resolve your issue, putting that plan into action also comes with its own set of stressors.
For example, if you’re having conflict about how your childhood trauma continues to affect you as an adult, the solution may be that you need to sit down and have an honest conversation with a family member. It’s tempting to put it off or just not do it at all, but that means continuing to live with it… and you don’t deserve that.
You’re braver than you think, and working through inner conflict just helps prove that.
If you’re ready to resolve your inner conflict, the four steps above can be a great place to start. It’s going to take dedication and hard work, but working through things that may have been bothering you for a long time can be a huge help at not only fixing the issue but also building up your self confidence.